Is it really that hard to squeeze in an nap every now and then?

These are the things that are getting me through each day, that don't include the beautiful smiles on my boys faces! I have listed below the reasons for why I can't actually squeeze in a nap these days, which are probably quite obvious but still worth mentioning.

For starters, this is a book my Mom gave me shortly after I had Tanner. It's supposed to be a quick easy read at just over 250 pages but of course I haven't finished it yet. I read excerpts from the book as I'm passing through my living room just to remind myself on the days I feel like a failure of a mother that I am absolutely not on this journey alone.


These days it's all about a makeshift ponytail, this amazing headband that keeps those obnoxious single flyaway hairs out of my eyes, and fitting in a shower every few days. Jason finds this last fact so utterly unbelievable..."What do you mean you can't shower every day?" As if I want to walk around in public with dried spit up on my chest and spaghetti sauce on my hair because I like how it makes me feel?! He has no idea!
Picture this Carter's bouncy chair in blue, and my chubby little baby sleeping blissfully cradled in it...this is how I get to take a shower on those rare days during the week, or wash dishes, do laundry, pay bills, cook dinner, play with big T, etc. I think I paid less than $20.00 for this chair back when T was born, I had purchased it on the fly on one of my many trips to Target back then, and it has proven to be the best baby gadget purchase I ever made. Forget those baby swings that have a remote control, and claim to feel like the womb, and are the size of washing machines...this chair has nothing more than a vibrating mechanism and some music, and it goes from flat to reclined position. Both of my boys have gotten the best sleep in this, and we can take it with us any where in our tiny house. I need this chair to get through each day, and if it every breaks or I can't find it anywhere else, that will be a sad day.

Such kind words of wisdom from family, friends, and strangers...

"Oh just sleep when the baby sleeps."

"Sleep while you're breastfeeding."

"Have your Dad/Jason/someone come over so you can take a nap."

"Just keep the baby awake all day."

These are all wonderful suggestions when I tell them that I am functioning on a maximum of 3 hours of sleep a day. But reality is, when the baby sleeps, usually the big brother is awake, or vice versa. I can't always time their naps at the same time. And let's face it, when kids sleep, that's we we get S**T done!

I have to sit up while I'm nursing, I just don't have the...anatomy... if you will, to physically provide for my baby while I'm laying down.

And how guilty do I feel having to ask others to watch my kids for me for the soul purpose of me catching some ZZZ's, to me that is taking advantage of those I care about.

And lastly, keeping a newborn awake is like telling me I can't order the chocolate cake after dinner- it's physically impossible! He falls asleep getting his diaper changed so that is out of the question.