My bright idea

I decided that the only way to get my butt in gear and start consistently exercising is to give myself a brutal reminder as to why I'm exercising in the first place. That little reminder is a series of pictures I took of myself in a bikini.....not a tankini, oh no no. I whipped out some little bikini I wore even pre-wedding. Bad idea? Probably. What I concluded from seeing myself in that little scrap of nylon lycra was this:

#1. It's not as bad as I thought
#2. If Kate Gosselin could jump around a beach in a bikini 5 years after having 6, I should too 3 years after having 1!
#3 . I need to work on my self control
#4. I will invest in some self tanner
#5. I have nice shoulders and calves, but not too pleased with everything in between.

So several days of depression and self-pity have ensued, and my stair climber and I have met reluctantly only a few times since my photo shoot. Yes, that visual should have been the whooping I needed to get me on my stair climber but...it's rough...I HATE exercising! I have never been one to love going to the gym, in fact I am nauseated by the sweaty stench of it, which greatly deters by gym efforts. Pre-wedding I did have a brief year or two of kick-boxing classes and yoga ball interaction, but the stereotypical honeymoon phase made me lazy and never want to leave our little apartment. Add to that nursing school, new job with long hours, and surprise your pregnant....here I am 12 pounds more than what I would prefer at this stage in my life.
I'm not going to sit here and put blame on any one specific thing, because this is all on me. But I have excuses, don't we all, and I have to find a way to get past them.

As a retired dancer, my metabolism and stamina have certainly seen better days. It is a frustrating struggle to have lost that part of my life. Dancing was an activity that not only took up my every day for more than half my life, and gave me life long friends and amazing memories, but was my only, and favorite, form of exercise. I NEVER could just run, I'm not a runner, couldn't ever get past the runner's cramp and burning chest. Bike riding? I had a car to drive, and dance class so no desire to ride a bike. I attempted after T was born to get back into classes, but I had a hard time leaving my nursing, screaming baby.

I need an exercising buddy to prevent me from giving an excuse to not show up, and to converse with during the misery. Krissy and I made a concerted effort when the kids were infants to meet at the Lake and stroller-size every week, and I'm pretty sure I lost all of my baby weight that year, but once illness/schedule conflicts/weather started to throw off the routine, we never got back to it.

I have already made some changes in my eating habits which have resulted in about a 6 pound weight loss I am proud to say, but some toning needs to occur. My self-esteem is constantly battered by the visions of celebrities on magazine covers who after birthing babies, and 50 pregnancy pounds later, have lost it all and then some, pose proudly, looking svelte and sexy. The funny thing is I have never felt "svelte and sexy" before, so why am I pressuring myself to want to look that way now. I am in good health, have great blood pressure and cholesterol, eat considerably healthy, with the exception of my close relationship with ice cream and chocolate. Oh how I would love to have a personal trainer and expensive pre-portioned meals arrive at my doorstep every day so I didn't have to leave my home.

As I sweep that dust bunny off my stair climber, and give another once over to my bikini photo shoot, I am left wondering what else it will take to push me into overdrive to really start working at it? Until then, I think I'll just polish off this last piece of confetti cake I made last night...

"I'm liking Daddy!"

When he wears hats now, he says, "I'm liking Daddy!"

He helped me move the couch, by using his head!

I found him going to the bathroom like this recently...

"I want to read the pape, like Daddy"

He made me a salad...

Ever since then...

Zoo with Papa and Pasha...we actually had intended on visiting the Bay Area Kids Museum in Sausalito that day, but a little confusion with the address and directions no thanks to the apple iphone, led to our accidental return to 101 and the Golden Gate bridge...in which case I decided that we weren't going to cross the bridge 4 times that day, deal with all of the no left turn lanes, and 19th Ave. traffic, and instead headed off to the zoo where we had yet another fulfilling experience there. The tigers were out roaring, and the bears played in their pool and wrestled one another. Even though we have been to this zoo fairly often in the last few months, this visit was so special because my parents hadn't been there since my sister and I were school age. They really had a blast with T! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

These are the flower's T picked out himself for me for Mother's Day...still going strong 2 weeks later! Purple and green, he knows my favorite colors!

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The two of us at the movies, waiting to see "Night at the Museum-Battle at the Smithsonian" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A really cold day at the beach...this is me wondering what I was thinking coming so unprepared!

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Daddy Time!!

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Cousins!!!

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Ladybugs take over at Twin Lakes

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Leo and T at the Sf Zoo

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Mother's Day weekend, my sister Katie came home for the weekend, so we enjoyed spending time with her. Katie is in her last few weeks of graduate work, trying to pound out her thesis, and is due to graduate June 13th! In 5 years she has successfully earned her Master's degree in Biomedical Engineering, and she was offered a much-sought-after job to work for Saint Judes, so pride doesn't even begin to describe how I feel about my sister's accomplishments! Having her come home for a few days was really unexpected and wonderful, but a good excuse for her to get away from school anyway!

T and I drove to Tracy to visit his cousins and Auntie Jenn that Friday. Cousin Spencer, at 11 days old, is so precious in every way, he let me give him a bath while Jenn rested, and I spoiled myself by carrying him all afternoon. I took T and Mitch for a bike ride before lunch, and the boys played really well together the entire afternoon. Jason's mom and I made lasagna that night for dinner....Yummo! We had a really great visit!

For Mother's Day, we had breakfast at Scramblz with my boys and Dad, then Mom, Kate and I spent the rest of the day wandering around downtown Los Gatos, then Campbell for the Farmer's Market, and a little retail therapy! Jas took T over to his parents to play baseball that day...I can't tell you how odd it feels not having T with me for that many hours, I literally feel as though I'm missing an appendage. For dinner, we BBQ'd at my parents and had a very relaxing evening.

And ever since, our weeks have been mostly with Jason, who has had some more "Unexpected Vacation" with his current job assignment having him in between projects. So we've been to Golfland, Gilroy Gardens, gardening in our patio, enjoyed the company of our neighbors the Andrade's, and in general hanging out together just the 3 of us, and I'm pretty sure I fit in a beach visit or two!!

Our day at the "New-Zeum"

T in all his puffy, snot-nosed glory! Story to follow...

So it has been a very long time since I blogged! It seems weeks have passed and I haven't had a moment so here I am finally having time...and I can't think of what to write. Not that I ever have anything witty to say! But I am trying to recall what I have been doing for the last 3 weeks!

T had his worst cold ever at the beginning of the month. Now don't get me wrong, colds are expected to be misery but in his short 3 years of life, he had never had more than a few days of runny nose and congested nights, while everyone else around him was coughing and hacking. I remember "knocking on wood" just days before he came down with this cold, as I told my sister-in-law that T has never had a cough before. I speak to parents every day about their children who have terrible cold-related coughs, and who are desperately inquiring on how to make the cough disappear so everyone in the house can get a good nights rest. And I always tell myself that my little guy is such a tough cookie to have overcome so many cold viruses without so much as a throat clearing sound.

So sure enough he developed his first phlegmy cough with this virus, it caused him to gag on the mucous every time(as he is a gaggy boy in general), and vomit once due to gagging. But true to his tough nature, he always had a positive attitude even despite a week and a half of sleepless nights.

One endearing story during this time was when T asked me to come to his room one morning. With a big proud smile on his face, he says "Mommy? come with me to the New Zeum"....He had carefully placed all of his dinosaurs and animals in very specific positions on his floor, and proceeded to show me around his self-created museum, he let me pet the animals, and attempted to describe and present each one of them...He explained that the sea animals like to eat mussels and crabs, and showed me how a Brachiosaurus eats out of trees because "it's a Long-neck." I am amazed at the new ways his imagination and creativity grow with his age! I felt such pride as a mommy, hearing him as the curator of his own New-Zeum!

2 days after his cold had diminished, he woke up around 2 am with a 103 fever. It lasted about 5.5hrs, I had the bucket ready as he is usually nauseated by fevers, but he got through with flying colors. He was fairly talkative, and goofy at times even! I don't give him anti-pyretics for a fever, as a fever is helpful for his immune system to fight off infection. So we watched a movie for distraction, I don't remember what now as I was half asleep anyway, but eventually he fell off to sleep, and woke up an hour later, saying "Mommy I had a nice nap," asking for breakfast, and going on with his normal am routine. At the onset of the fever I was prepared to consider bringing him in for an appt, in suspect of a possible ear infection only because of the recent URI, but he never c/o ear pain that morning, and his behavior was completely normal after the fever broke, so needless to say nothing ever came from the fever. Thankful, I have such a healthy, thriving son.

Thanks and Muah!!

I don't always respond back as I should... so.....
To all my lovely girlfriends and family that always leave such thoughtful and kind comments for me, I appreciate you all, I am thankful to you for being in my life, and I WISH I SAW YOU ALL MORE!!

Kisses and a big thank you from me to you!!