Game Ball Day

This was from game #4 against the Pirates. T received the game ball that day! It was a beautiful day for a ball game!



Ready, Position

Distracted by dirt

Our little leaguer, #2

He always likes to be the first out on the field with his glove

He runs slower than his usual around the bases because I think the massive helmet weighs him down and makes him a little disoriented...it's cute to watch

Heading to 3rd base

Rounding the bases

This is Little John talking to T- he never actually plays in the outfield during games or practice, he only likes to hit the ball. This game he decided to take it upon himself to become team manager, note the clipboard!

He was given the Game Ball!!

His Papa Warren comforting him after he was tackled trying to catch a ground ball

Getting tackled

What you have missed...

Hi. I'm still here. I haven't fallen into a deep dark abyss. It's been weeks since I've blogged, I know, and it feels like so much has happened since my last one. For starters, I'm done complaining about my sleep deprivation. (Unless you're my mom or sister of course:) I know I'm not alone is this and I feel like I'm adapting the best I can to a maximum of 3 hours of sleep a day. So we're all getting through this as best we can...Mommy isn't always so pleasant and can easily cry at any moment, but when I look at my boys, I can forget all about my moody sleepless fog. They are beautiful, and precious, and perfect to me.

One thing is for sure... I am so deeply in awe of my little Tanner. After all, we get to spend a lot of time together during our night time nursing and chat sessions. At 7 weeks, he is becoming so much more engaged in his surroundings. He is smiling, especially just after he eats. And he coos here and there, which makes my heart melt every time and I nearly cry and get all lip quivery! He definitely recognizes my voice....when he sits on my lap facing away from me and he hears me talking, he twists his head around to try to face me. He has rolled over a few times already!! He somehow pushes himself onto his side by pushing up with his feet than he slowly topples around. It's so amazing. He's strong just like his big brother. (T rolled over at his 4 day old newborn check up!!) When we burp him, he pushes up with his legs to stand, and he holds his head up on his own for longer periods. I can't believe we are almost at the two-month mark!

A few weeks back, sometime around 5 weeks old, I noticed that Tanner's spitting up had increased. He had been a spitter upper right from the start, but by 5 weeks his symptoms began to change. The amount increased, and he began spitting up long after he was done eating. When he did spit up, his face would turn bright red and he would cry, like he was in pain. It would often be clear and bubbly fluid. After he would eat, he would writhe and wiggle around grunting and whimpering for sometime after his feeding. Now it didn't happen after every feeding, but most of them, especially at night. When I first noticed the change, my initial thought was, "maybe he ate too much" or "maybe I ate something that made him gassy" or "maybe I jiggled him around too much after his feeding." Typical mommy reasoning when you first notice something might be wrong with your child. In addition, Tanner has had some difficulty with his latch, so he would get frustrated, and cry while trying to nurse, causing him to gulp in air, thus making him spit up a lot after his feeding. So I thought that was the reason also. But after 2 weeks of the symptoms becoming more consistent, I discussed it with his pediatrician and we started him on Zantac this week. I have noticed a great improvement, especially today, so I am very pleased that we identified the problem and could make him comfortable. There's is nothing more difficult in being a parent than seeing your baby in pain.

STATS!!

At Tanner 6-8 week check up he was:

11lbs 5oz, 22 in. long

And he rolled over from stomach to back while laying on the examination table!! That was the 4th time I think!!

He received his first series of shots that day, and only cried briefly, maybe less than a minute. He was very fussy and irritable for the next 12 hrs or so but that was to be expected.

I can't believe my tiny but mighty little Tanner gained almost 6 lbs since he was born (he was 5lb 8oz. at his 4 day old appt)

15 minutes

This morning, the boys and I slept in until 8:20, which would have been super awesome especially since I didn't actually fall asleep until just before 6 and Tanner had a colicky night, except that T had swim class at 9am at AVAC in Cambrian. We have to leave our house by 8:40 if we are going to be on time, and for a 30 min. swim class, being a few minutes late really cuts into his class and is just plain disruptive and rude.
I hate being late. And I don't like to make excuses for being late, I'm not the only mother of multiple kids and many other parents arrive on time to their things.
So this morning by the time T shuffled into my room and we all got up, I had 15 minutes to get us all dressed, diaper changed, fed(we are all grumpy if we don't eat), and packed into the car. 15 minutes is really not enough time at all, Tanner takes at least 30 min to nurse as it is!
So, did we make? You bet, with 2 minutes to spare actually. So what if we had morning/cereal breath! At least my baby wasn't sitting in a poopy diaper and I was actually dressed in something other than the pajamas I've worn the last 2 nights. I would say this morning could have been a disaster and T could have missed his swim class that he enjoys so much and that would have made me feel awful for him.
I have no excuses for sleeping in today. But I have to say, I am super proud of myself for getting us all out the door and on time today...it is no easy feat when you have a newborn, as all of my mommy friends know:)

Yummy

My dad has been cooking a lot recently and has made some wonderful dishes. Last night he made us this asparagus risotto, a recipe he found from Sunset magazine...it was insanely yummy, I had thirds:)

Thanks Dad, you're awesome!

Love her

My beautiful sister left me a little care package the other day! I guess my little crybaby blog the other day got her worried! She was really thoughtful about the goodies she chose... Amongst them were some of my favorite celeb mags to keep me occupied during those 3am feedings, a super plush new blanket, one of our favorite movies, Father of the Bride 2, a diaper caddy so I can do changes downstairs, a pacifier pod, a new portable changing pad to keep me organized on outings, and some little smelly sachets to mask the dirty diaper smell.
She's such an awesome sister, I love you Kate!

Wahhh!

That's how I sounded last week with my recent blog....thank you for allowing me the opportunity to vent, and to be honest, have my own private bitchfest! I am more than grateful to all of you for your understanding, support, and empathy.

I am feeling refreshed after 4 hours of sleep last night and look towards this week with much more positivity. I am well aware of the fact that I am not alone in this journey through motherhood; that millions of women endure the same emotions and experiences that I do, and of course many of those women have far more dire circumstances than I do. So that truth does not escape me. But at 3am, when I am covered in spit-up, deliriously navigating the sketchy task of changing my sons explosive poopy diaper in my sleepless stupor, all the while trying to prevent him from peeing in his own face, and comforting a 4 year old who woke up in a rare incident of being covered in pee himself, it is possible to feel all alone in those moments.

But make no mistake. I am completely enamored by, in love with, in awe of, and so robustly full of pride over my two boys that my heart feels as though it truly has doubled in size. I have an amazing husband, the most supportive and loving family, and wonderful friends that have gotten me through these last 4 weeks. I am such a lucky girl.

talan(he typed this himself!)

Caution...

I've hit the 3 week postpartum mark, which means that the hormones are at an all time high, emotional breakdowns are inevitable, and there is officially no distinction between day and night. I think the first 2 weeks I was running on adrenaline, relishing in my new role as a mom of two, recovering from a far more positive labor and delivery than my first, which made me feel like I could conquer anything, and have been lucky enough to have a relatively sleepy calm baby....during the day that is, who also happens to like to be awake from midnight to 5 am and nurse every 30 minutes.

My reality now - the side effects of sleep deprivation has reared its ugly head and I find myself being on the brink of either tears or mental meltdown at any given moment.

I'm like a 2 year old...probably shouldn't be taken to the mall or grocery store for fear I might throw myself to the ground in a full on tantrum. Don't even think about offering me food I don't like, I might throw it at the wall. And if anyone even thinks about telling me to go take a nap, expect some attitude.

Motherhood is not for wimps, let's be honest. Some of us are better at holding it together than others, or maybe at least make it appear that way. But I am sad to admit that I don't think I am one of THOSE women.

Patience...I have none.

I may have been glowing while I was pregnant, now I'm just sweaty and hot from the hormones.

Showers? Brushing teeth? General basic hygiene? At this point, I pick one to tackle for the day and consider that a good day and hope no one gets close enough to smell me or look at the brownie I had for breakfast stuck in my teeth.

I completely failed at making a frozen CPK pizza for dinner recently. I want to eat healthy especially because I'm nursing but find it nearly impossible to cook anything in between distracting Talan and feeding and comforting a newborn.

The laundry is piling up and I constantly have dirty dishes in the sink which is making it difficult for me to control my innate neat freakiness.

Bills? That's right, I have to pay those too.

My bedroom smells of Desitin and dirty diapers instead of my yummy Tommy Bahama candles.

Oh and that's right, I have a backyard with an overgrown lemon tree that has to be pruned at some point otherwise the homeowners association is gonna get on my back eventually.

I'm running low on contact lenses and if they tell me I will require an updated eye exam to get a refill, I'm going to get someone fired.

I still have Thank you cards to complete from my baby shower....guilty.

And why is it that immediately after you have a baby, everyone wants to know when you're going back to work? As if while gazing adoringly at my newborn baby, I want to think about the day that I have to re-enter the real world and leave my new baby all too soon. It's the last thing I want to think about.

We just bought a new couch, because our original one is not comfortable enough to serve as Jason's new bed. That's right...he's on the couch. And yet the baby and I are in our room where I'm NOT ACTUALLY SLEEPING because by the time I put my head on the pillow, the baby is up from midnight to 5 every hour or less either wanting to nurse, or wide awake, or just plain grunty and noisy which keeps me awake.

The mommy guilt is beginning to set it at not being able to give my full attention to T...I feel like all I do is try to defer him to yet another activity for him to do by himself so I can feed the baby or change him, or do some household task. He is such a TROOPER, he has adapted so well at being more independent and doing so many things all by himself, like getting dressed, packing his own things, getting his snacks, just to name a few. And he helps so much too, he has to unbutton the baby's outfits so we can change his diaper, or hand me the diaper wipes, or try to comfort Tanner when he makes any little whimper or noise. He tells me how I'm supposed to buckle him up, or hold him properly, and he always tells Tanner how much he loves him. Talan is one AMAZING big brother.

At 4am this morning, I however had my first official breakdown occurred.

Being pregnant and having a baby is not about fancy over-the-top themed baby showers, wearing Nicole Ritchie's latest maternity line, buying the most expensive, eco friendly, organic pretty baby gadgets/clothes/toys, $800 strollers, etc. Don't let celebrity baby blog or parenting magazine fool you...it's about super maxi-pads, sweatpants, breastmilk stains, lanolin, breastfeeding in the most inopportune environments, projectile spit-up, being lulled to sleep - er uh I mean rest, by the sound of a breast pump, cereal for dinner, leftover Chinese food for breakfast, stretchmarks, sore boobs, unplucked eyebrows, adjusting to the reality that 2 hours is the equivilent of a good night sleep, and conversation with your husband entails placing an order at Mcdonald's.

If you ask me how it's all going having 2 kids, I'm probably going to lie and say something along the lines of "Oh sure, it's going pretty well," or "It's not as hard as I thought it was going to be." Just smile and nod....I'm just trying not to be a big wimp.